Okay! Hi again! Yes, I know, where have I been? Ah hah! I have a very very juicy explanation right here if you’re wondering! So… In the past few months I’ve been really living stoicism. And when you live it in certain ways, you almost feel like a hypocrite for not letting it encompass all your life, and of course, it’s affected my relationship with videogames. I love THE FINALS, it’s one of my favorite games! …But it’s super fast paced! I thought, dang, that can’t be too healthy. Solution? Hmmm, what’s a slower game? A really slower game. Then I remembered… OSRS (OldSchool RuneScape). Why not?! I never played it!
A fun adventure then begun. Silly little shy me seized every opportunity to be brave and talk to others, as a little challenge for myself. Boy, how rewarding was that?! I got good vibes and donations! I might even make a little… Chronicles of Giving post series where I post all the screenshot-worthy good vibes I came across (a ton!).
But I’m not here to talk about that, no sir!
For context, I’ve been out of my only relationship for about 1.5yrs, it was a messy endeavour! But I’m really grateful I went through it because things that shake us to our core, well, make us change ourselves to our core! Be it to adapt or sometimes simply survive..! Anyways, I could talk about this forever, but that’s not the focus! For all that long long time, I haven’t had anyone I actually considered a true friend. It bothered me a lot, but being forced to spend all that time in solitude did me a solid, as I had to choice but to work on myself. Work on myself I did, and I’m proud of my changes! Eventually I cared less about being on my own and even learned to cherish it (I took myself out on a date a few days ago! Think I might post that…). Yap, yap, yapping I am.
…On a very fortunate day… Somehow, everything aligned perfectly. I don’t remember on which world it was, but… Newbie me decided to train my ranged skill. It’s my least favorite! Ranging is boring and I’m just not into it. I wanna be a tank, or powerful battlemage! But since some quests require the skill, out I went.
I’ve been a shy person. Echoes from bad experiences made me retreat into my little shell until people came to me, and that’s how I strictly operated. So it’s been a recent thing, me reaching out first and being brave in those ways (it’s been a success). So, bored ranged-aversed me, just baaaarely not-shy-anymore me, on a day I usually don’t game, went to a cow pen to train.
And my life changed.
I met Major!
And it’s been awesome ever since.
A high level player whose subscription had run out, or he was in a free world just to accompany his friend. Or both, I can’t recall exactly. But he was in a free world with a paid character! We chatted a little bit, I noobed out and spoke like a noob, because that’s what I was. Played like a noob, almost to a roleplaying level. Wholesome, silly fun. I felt like little kid discovering the game heheh. I guess I’m just appealing and fun to have around, and by the end of the day I had been awarded free subscription (worth like 15 dollars!) by another paid player in a free world. Crazy!
Me and Major have been friends ever since, official besties.
But it’s… Not as simple as that. It’s so much more than just a rando friend. I think he’s been the safest friendship I’ve ever had. 0 second (a.k.a. naughty) intentions, just purity. He’s so grateful to have me around and says it often, and I do too. I can easily make him laugh, we play together often. He’s a simple, virtuous man, to the point he and I are the two most virtuous people I’ve ever met. Nothing even comes close. It also made me realize how, if we consider attachment theory here, I’ve developed myself so much I’ve achieve a secure attachment. Because even though I love him, I don’t miss him… In the good way! Knowing he’s out in the world, doing his thing, maybe not talking for a day or two doesn’t bother me at all. It’s this… Connection that transcends communication and that’s really lovely. He’s reliable, loyal and just real, so no part of me worries about… Being replaced (which let’s be honest, replacing me is fluffing stupid), or having to “compete” or whatever neurotic things other people can cause. He’s a good soul with a good heart, and I’m very lucky. In my solitude, I never thought I’d be able to find or be found by anyone that valuable.
I’m glad I was wrong.
P.S.: I’ll post often from now on! I was going hard on runescape for a bit, but now let’s get back on track.